The only reason why CSL still manages to attract some new students is the amount of trips offered each year.
In *check counter* 30 or so people will be getting on a plane to CDG, and then on to Italy. We will miss you.
Nah we won't. We will be happy. Until we need more people to complain at the teachers that is.
Remember, you may die because the plane crashes for some reason.
But also, remember, the trip to the airport in a car is more dangerous.
And for those not going, you have 1000x more chances of being in a car crash than in an aviation accident.
Enjoy your trip. I will look forward to when you come back (with souvenirs for me).
Friday, April 3, 2009
Thursday, April 2, 2009
English [anal] Exam
Another very fucked up day at CSL. This one is going into the big book of classic fucked-up shit at CSL.
When the English teacher, out of pure *term deleted* gives an exam composed of 10 questions requiring 1-paragraph answers each, plus some smattering of single line answers AND another minimum 3 paragraph just to make you sweat a little more, it just has to go down into the annals of history.
The *term deleted* of her actions is overwhelming when you consider that we get three hours normally, just to write a 5 paragraph exam essay. When viewed like so, other teacher's *term deleted* is a small hand grenade while her's is a hydrogen bomb going off.
On the bright side, in protest, we had:
1- Scarface jumping out of the window. (He took a leaf outta the Sec 3's book)
2- People had their notes, handouts and books under the desk, and in some cases, ON the desks, and were copying and cheating.
3- In a surge of creativity, using an eraser as "messenger" another pair of us got themselves through the exam with at least a 60%, and a laugh too.
4- We talked loudly not exactly sharing answers, but still, ticking her off.
Anyways, this applies:
If you steal from one another it’s plagiarism; if you steal from many, it’s research.
PS: It wasn't June. If it were, imagine the stink, the humidity, the sweat pouring off our brows, the sweat-sodden papers, the sweaty hands, the shaky pencils, the people whispering curses, the sticky pants (and underwear), the teachers laughing, etc.
I'm painting grim preview for what there is to come aren't I?
That is what life will bring you, so enjoy it while you can. Loosen up, chill out for Easter holidays, because after that, its the deepest level of hell for a month.
When the English teacher, out of pure *term deleted* gives an exam composed of 10 questions requiring 1-paragraph answers each, plus some smattering of single line answers AND another minimum 3 paragraph just to make you sweat a little more, it just has to go down into the annals of history.
The *term deleted* of her actions is overwhelming when you consider that we get three hours normally, just to write a 5 paragraph exam essay. When viewed like so, other teacher's *term deleted* is a small hand grenade while her's is a hydrogen bomb going off.
On the bright side, in protest, we had:
1- Scarface jumping out of the window. (He took a leaf outta the Sec 3's book)
2- People had their notes, handouts and books under the desk, and in some cases, ON the desks, and were copying and cheating.
3- In a surge of creativity, using an eraser as "messenger" another pair of us got themselves through the exam with at least a 60%, and a laugh too.
4- We talked loudly not exactly sharing answers, but still, ticking her off.
Anyways, this applies:
If you steal from one another it’s plagiarism; if you steal from many, it’s research.
PS: It wasn't June. If it were, imagine the stink, the humidity, the sweat pouring off our brows, the sweat-sodden papers, the sweaty hands, the shaky pencils, the people whispering curses, the sticky pants (and underwear), the teachers laughing, etc.
I'm painting grim preview for what there is to come aren't I?
That is what life will bring you, so enjoy it while you can. Loosen up, chill out for Easter holidays, because after that, its the deepest level of hell for a month.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
What happens on April Fools stays in CSL
Yeah..........today wasn't a good day. Nope. Nope, definitely not.
Some sec 5, undoubtedly *slightly* stressed and zombified, with their brain mostly liquefied, decided to have a little picnic....in the freaking middle of the "cafeteria". Camp fires songs, marshmallows, the whole kit. Normally, a small picnic would be a problem, especially in any other proper cafeteria, but our cafeteria is so small that little 8x8 foot took up 1 eighth of the entire place. Staff had to pull out the big guns to do some crowd dispersal. By that, I mean M.Fiorito, a slightly racist, loud voiced, wacky humored, claims he is 70 in perfect shape while having a beer belly, gym teacher. (almost completely bald too)
Sec 4s attempted to pull off a mass class skipping. It was dismayal. UTTER FAILURE. Proof that balls shrink when you're at CSL. Thank god only one more year to go, otherwise we may well all become impotent. Last year was successful. This year, we got our balls chopped off and handed back to us by the teachers. Not something I would like to remember anytime soon.
Sec 3 are still young, with their balls still intact, and details are sketchy but they were probably doing what they usually do. Meaning :scream, bitch,bite, complain, petition, shout, swarm etc. etc. Already, their voices are higher than a baby at birth. I shiver to think about how high pitched their voices get once their testicles fall off with all the toxic stuff at CSL. The teachers are tearing their hair out so much the sec 3 are indisciplined. I'm sure they'll try extra hard to castrate the sec 3 monsters ASAP.
Some sec 5, undoubtedly *slightly* stressed and zombified, with their brain mostly liquefied, decided to have a little picnic....in the freaking middle of the "cafeteria". Camp fires songs, marshmallows, the whole kit. Normally, a small picnic would be a problem, especially in any other proper cafeteria, but our cafeteria is so small that little 8x8 foot took up 1 eighth of the entire place. Staff had to pull out the big guns to do some crowd dispersal. By that, I mean M.Fiorito, a slightly racist, loud voiced, wacky humored, claims he is 70 in perfect shape while having a beer belly, gym teacher. (almost completely bald too)
Sec 4s attempted to pull off a mass class skipping. It was dismayal. UTTER FAILURE. Proof that balls shrink when you're at CSL. Thank god only one more year to go, otherwise we may well all become impotent. Last year was successful. This year, we got our balls chopped off and handed back to us by the teachers. Not something I would like to remember anytime soon.
Sec 3 are still young, with their balls still intact, and details are sketchy but they were probably doing what they usually do. Meaning :scream, bitch,bite, complain, petition, shout, swarm etc. etc. Already, their voices are higher than a baby at birth. I shiver to think about how high pitched their voices get once their testicles fall off with all the toxic stuff at CSL. The teachers are tearing their hair out so much the sec 3 are indisciplined. I'm sure they'll try extra hard to castrate the sec 3 monsters ASAP.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Could Mrs. Lovett have only been a precursor?
I’m sure pretty much every individual reading this article has heard of/ seen/ worships the story turned play (turned movie) : Sweeney Todd (the demon barber of yada yada yada). You may be asking yourself how this has anything to do with our repulsive reformatory. Well, let me get to it then. To the next paragraph!
It’s popular lore in our sad excuse of an educational edifice that the food is revolting. We theorize it may even compete with airplane food (ok, sometimes it’s tolerable) or prison food (another prison reference, I’m telling you, it’s more than coincidence). The difference is they both have viable excuses for why their food is of a dubious nature. The airlines could claim it has to be able to preserve itself for some time and that they don’t really have the facilities to accommodate some more high quality victuals. The prisons could claim that the food is paid by the taxes and so producing more expensive meals would be costly and troublesome for the chefs. The schools, however, charge us a handsome amount for meals that are subpar in terms of taste AND of health. With the amount of things they recycle in the lunches, you have to wonder: If they have a lot of students, little money and they get a healthy part of their money that is not given to them by the government from the food they sell, then perhaps they have attempted to generate food from the resource that is most present. Yes, it is reminiscent of Soylent Green . What’s more is that there are small boarded up doors in the lower level that are much too small for a human. That is to say a full, non mutilated human. They probably only take the ones that are failing though since they don’t want their average of test scores to go down after having turned the brains of the school into neatly sliced pepperoni by accident (by ‘accident’ I only imply they forgot how smart the student was, not that they had chopped them up by accident).
Hence, the title of this article is explained. However, there is no tangible evidence of their actions. They must really use every scrap of meat on those bones. But, seriously, I doubt they actually do use them to produce profits. Then again, the assistant principal could pass for a lankier Helena Bonham Carter (Mrs. Lovett in Sweeney Todd the movie)...and there have been some students in this year and in previous years who have disappeared on very short notice...I’d check my pizza twice before biting down next time, just to stay on the safe side. If there is a safe side.
Lime
It’s popular lore in our sad excuse of an educational edifice that the food is revolting. We theorize it may even compete with airplane food (ok, sometimes it’s tolerable) or prison food (another prison reference, I’m telling you, it’s more than coincidence). The difference is they both have viable excuses for why their food is of a dubious nature. The airlines could claim it has to be able to preserve itself for some time and that they don’t really have the facilities to accommodate some more high quality victuals. The prisons could claim that the food is paid by the taxes and so producing more expensive meals would be costly and troublesome for the chefs. The schools, however, charge us a handsome amount for meals that are subpar in terms of taste AND of health. With the amount of things they recycle in the lunches, you have to wonder: If they have a lot of students, little money and they get a healthy part of their money that is not given to them by the government from the food they sell, then perhaps they have attempted to generate food from the resource that is most present. Yes, it is reminiscent of Soylent Green . What’s more is that there are small boarded up doors in the lower level that are much too small for a human. That is to say a full, non mutilated human. They probably only take the ones that are failing though since they don’t want their average of test scores to go down after having turned the brains of the school into neatly sliced pepperoni by accident (by ‘accident’ I only imply they forgot how smart the student was, not that they had chopped them up by accident).
Hence, the title of this article is explained. However, there is no tangible evidence of their actions. They must really use every scrap of meat on those bones. But, seriously, I doubt they actually do use them to produce profits. Then again, the assistant principal could pass for a lankier Helena Bonham Carter (Mrs. Lovett in Sweeney Todd the movie)...and there have been some students in this year and in previous years who have disappeared on very short notice...I’d check my pizza twice before biting down next time, just to stay on the safe side. If there is a safe side.
Lime
Monday, March 30, 2009
HIS=ENG, ENG=HIS
In the IB program, there's lots of talk about "competences transversales". (Interchangeable competency)
It just means mixing a bunch of subjects up into one giant project, which saves the teachers from the oh-so-difficult task of coming up with project ideas. (Seesh, they just need to come up with one, we actually need to do it. It's not like there is somebody making sure they do the corrections.)
HIS=ENG is a great example of interchangeable competencies.
I got history, math, and english in there all at once!
But seriously, HIS is quasi-ENG class now...in terms of class misbehavior.
The wannabe-teacher, aka teacher-in-training, aka TIT, aka *term deleted* as some call her, has the same problems as the ENG teacher, although on a different level. Ironically, the tallest troublemaker in our class, Prick, wasn't even there. (He is screwing Spanish chicas in Spain~envy~) Yet, everybody was talking/shouting/screaming. Poor TIT barely got to do any teaching.
If she was in politics, it would be like Obama stepping on the podium and announcing war on every redneck in the USA.
In a nutshell, using the little "on-air" time she had (so to speak), she broadly displayed her political and personal views on the subject matter! We don't give a tiny rat's ass about which political party screwed another in the 1800s, or what you think of it, nor do we want to know about how big of an asskisser the catholic clergy was, ESPECIALLY, when we've already gone through the subject TWO times. (That's the problem with history: IT DOESN'T FREAKIN' CHANGE!—did you expect it to? What have you been snorting?) So naturally, she totally lost control of the class. Very hectic.
New feature:
The Weekly Double. Mr. Wener-style (or not) jokes supplied by Double:
It just means mixing a bunch of subjects up into one giant project, which saves the teachers from the oh-so-difficult task of coming up with project ideas. (Seesh, they just need to come up with one, we actually need to do it. It's not like there is somebody making sure they do the corrections.)
HIS=ENG is a great example of interchangeable competencies.
I got history, math, and english in there all at once!
But seriously, HIS is quasi-ENG class now...in terms of class misbehavior.
The wannabe-teacher, aka teacher-in-training, aka TIT, aka *term deleted* as some call her, has the same problems as the ENG teacher, although on a different level. Ironically, the tallest troublemaker in our class, Prick, wasn't even there. (He is screwing Spanish chicas in Spain~envy~) Yet, everybody was talking/shouting/screaming. Poor TIT barely got to do any teaching.
Flashback: "Alors, les patriotes—"Incidentally, she committed a very big mistake today. A very big no-no in the classroom world.
"WHO IS GOING TO MCDO[nalds] FOR LUNCH!?!??!?!"
If she was in politics, it would be like Obama stepping on the podium and announcing war on every redneck in the USA.
In a nutshell, using the little "on-air" time she had (so to speak), she broadly displayed her political and personal views on the subject matter! We don't give a tiny rat's ass about which political party screwed another in the 1800s, or what you think of it, nor do we want to know about how big of an asskisser the catholic clergy was, ESPECIALLY, when we've already gone through the subject TWO times. (That's the problem with history: IT DOESN'T FREAKIN' CHANGE!—did you expect it to? What have you been snorting?) So naturally, she totally lost control of the class. Very hectic.
New feature:
The Weekly Double. Mr. Wener-style (or not) jokes supplied by Double:
"You know why I hate 'Coulomb'"
"Why...?"
"Just listen to the word: 'Nous "Couclomb" l'examen'"
ahahahaha
******************************************
If Mr. Chamberland ruled the world..."WELCOME TO CHAMBER LAND!"
That's all folks, hope that made you end your Monday with a smile!
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