Toilets? Who needs toilets? Just do your business in a hole and cover it up when your done.
CSL has two bathrooms for each sex. (No bizarre third sex, yet, thankfully)
One of the girl's bathroom's has 10 stalls(unconfirmed), and the other has 5. But one does not lock, so actually, it's 4 operational stalls in the second bathroom.
Boy's bathroom has about 5 urinals each, and 2 stalls in one, and 4 in the other.
I should mention at this point our (secondary) "school" has two buildings. Both are not fit to be called schools. One looks like a factory, and rumors have it that it was formerly a hospital, or an asylum. The other is slightly larger, but still undersized, and neither schools have an adequate gym. Under 5 seconds, a person can sprint from one side to the other lengthwise. Neither gym in either building fits more than 3 undersized badminton courts. (Don't get me started on the cafeterias. In the cafeteria, you don't eat food, you ARE food. Sardines, to be exact.)
Due to the age of the building, recently, one bathroom each has been closed. God knows what's been living in the decades old plumbing. This brings the number of operational toilets to 4 for the girls, and 5 urinals & 4 stalls for the boys for 576 students. Sometimes, girls can be seen lining up as if we were at a tourist hot point with public bathrooms! Any other school board, with ANY sense of human rights would have either gotten it fixed by now, or closed the school. What in the world is this? Do they really expect us to waste valuable time between lessons or during lunch waiting to answer nature's call? We have other things to do. Like eating, drinking, stealing other people's food, copying homework, memorizing test questions, playing cards, betting money, and of course, taking crack. (How else do we survive this hell?)
Nose Rape
Also, taking a walk through the school is like an around the world trip filled with adventure for your nose. The array of smells raping your olfactory sensors is only slightly inferior to the
energy of a nuke going off. The short walk from cafeteria to lobby takes about a minute but from
caf to lobby, you will on average smell : feces, detergent, fish, pasta sauce, paint, urine, old book, marijuana, smell of Guatemala(
spanish class), and sweat. Sometimes, they mix and create unbelievable and sometimes lethal combinations. You would never know until you experience it how a good smell can mix with a bad smell, and create something potent enough to be the equivalent of burying your face in a cow's ass and having it fart right there and then.
Feel like going to the North Pole?
As if the cold of Canada isn't enough, certain classes offer a free trip to the North Pole. Yeah, nothing beats learning about the french language
amongst penguins and polar bears! It promotes a good learning environment and stimulates the mind and body very literally. Th-
th-
th-the pa-pa-pa-past pa-pa-
parti-ti-ti-
ciple with "a-a-
avoir" auxiliary... you get the point.
In an ironic contrast, other classes offer a relief from the long, dark, cold winter days by SHOVING YOU INTO AN OVEN. No, we don't have cooking classes, although it would hardly be appropriate to be cooking along with the food you're preparing. You freeze in french class, and then you roast in math. Awesome, isn't it? Now you get to cook along with the penguin you speared when you were at the North Pole. 12 times 12 =144. 144 freaking degrees. And that's
Celcius! If anybody spilled water, it would become a sauna. If you brought snow from the window sill inside, you will get sublimation!
HAPPY INFLUENZA WEEK
Oh yes, you come to school, barely survive the freezing cold, and the searing heat, endure the wonderful
potency of methane, hold your wee (and not get a
Wii), eat "food" from the
caf and you have to manage NOT to get the flu. Half the classes are coughing, sneezing and blowing their noses. All around you, it's like a symphony of coughs with alternating beats, sneezes with pitches you barely hear to those that blow out windows, and noses being blown like if a train was pulling into the station.
Hazmat suits are a must. If you can get a hold of a spacesuit, that would be best because you would solve the temperature problem and "go" whenever you like. Nothing like taking a shit while the teacher is talking about trigonometry.
Extra rant:
On another note, I learned (rather, relearned) today that when your day sucks, it will suck A LOT and is caused by a series of things that SUCK happening to you
successively.
A combination of weather (Seattle style overcast), and crappy lunch put me in a bad mood. In gym, we lost 25 to 4 at volleyball. Didn't help my mood. Going home on a city bus is like take a ride in a garbage truck. We're compressed about the same amount, and the smell is similar. Didn't improve my mood one bit. Walking home, I decide to spend 1,50$ on a classic style Coke in an attempt to cheer myself up. Couldn't get the cap open and seriously contemplated smashing the glass bottleneck. Also, stepping in dog shit coming out of the convenience store didn't help. Playing GTA at this point is a good mood upper. Oh, also pulled a muscle when I slipped on inch-thick ice. Don't anybody know what jackhammers are for 'round here?
That concludes my little rant about my shitty afternoon. Have a good one.
