In Soviet Russia, we nuke leaking oil wells

This has got to be the most cliche thing related to russian vs usa ever.

Picture this:
Americans are jumping around, panicking and blaming either BP or Obama.
On one side, Omaba is standing a puddle of sweat, as his plans for economic stimulation go down the drain 'cause he has to sign new laws/bills limiting/postponing deepwater drilling. Did I mention the fishermen out to get him too?
On the other, BP executives and technicians and scientists are also in a good deal of stress. They've tried for a month now to stop that monster pissing black crap into the gulf and for all the money, technology and manpower they've got in there, and despite trying a plethora of ideas ranging from smart to retarded, they still can't do it. Wat a wonderful display of impotency.

Oh, also pitch in the rest of the world also looking on, totally helpless.

And then picture a bearded russian coming up, in a russian accent saying:
"Ooh yes, oil leak, is no problem. We just blow it up with nuclear bomb. Problem go away."
Faced with wide-eyed astonishment he adds "We do it five times already."
I shit you not. They have. Google it.
 
Owing to the limited nature of my knowledge in the field I won't comment on whether it's a good idea or not. However, it sounds a lot more efficient than shooting 'junk into the hole' and 'shooting mud and drilling fluid down the pipe' while oil is still gushing out.

On a side note, notice how they still call it a leak as a way to downplay the seriousness of the problem. A leak is something you can stop with a hand. A leak is something you take a few times a day. It's not 1,900,000–3,000,000 litres a day rocketing out of a pipe. If that happens to you even once a day, please, be a firefighter!

DROP KICK DK.

Die Kravtz die!

When you see things like the above (and worse) on msn status messages, you know that somebody, somewhere, is tearing their hair off trying to finish DK. So once again, due to a tremendous urge of generosity, I have decided I'm going to help you out.

2- Type of Novel: The predictable kind.

4- 3 Supporting characters: Simcha, Cohen, Virgil. Simcha to get him started, inflating his head with ideas of shit like man with no land is nobody. Cohen to keep him going when he starts feeling guilty, and Virgil because the author needs an epic betrayal at the end to get the reader's sympathy.

5- Plot scheme:

And now, as I have better things to do, I bid you a good night. Muhahaha.