Thursday, March 11, 2010

CSL Discovery Channel Ep1

A brief word of introduction:

The sanctity of underage education has been compromised! There is an ever increasing number of studentteachers at CSL. Thus, a CSL Discovery Channel has been produced on these fascinating creatures who've come  uninvited into the CSL ecosystem. (Read with Discovery channel narrator voice—if you haven't figured it out already)
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We see here the studentteacher in its natural habitat: a school teeming with brilliant young minds, youthful energy and unquantifiable knowledge. These are peculiar mammals. They are peculiar in the fact that they, unlike the majority of mammals in this school, are over the legal age of 18, and yet, their days are spent in the Quebec education system in anguish, as students, just like the underage mammals in this ecosystem.

Over here, on the second level created by a network of artificial beams and concrete above the ground, we have a male studentteacher. Let us observe how he behaves himself in the field. His neck is outstretched, his attuned ears twitch and being bipedal, his two legs and feet are poised to accelerate him to a top speed of 23 miles per hour for a short while in order to escape an attack.

He is anxious, on alert, searching for possible threats.

Indeed, the studentteacher is far from the top of the food chain and his lifespan in this ecosystem is directly proportional to how smart and attentive he is to his surroundings. His predators include other humans, his supervisors, and his teachers as well as psychopaths wielding various weapons ranging from the kitchen knife to the assault rifle. Today, his primary concern for his survival are the underaged humans stalking him in his territory, which has been carefully and tentatively marked with his sense of humor.

His predators are becoming restless.  They are hungry and are impatient to go out hunting for food, in this case, him. Luckily, studentteachers thrive in packs, and also get along easily with teachers. A teacher has entered his territory. He is safe...for now. 


Back on the ground floor, deep in the bowels of this fascinatingly diverse ecosystem, we find the female studentteacher. The female studentteachers are generally smaller than the males. This one has nearly completely her evolution from studentteacher to teacher, a process which can take up to 4 or 5 years, and interestingly, does not involve stages such as larvae or cocoons. The female studentteacher, perhaps due to her slightly diminutive size and softer voice, generally has more difficulty in defending herself against her predators. Therefore, she relies far more on the protection of her pack, as well as other ingenious tactics she has devised in order to stay alive in this threat-filled environment. As this female did not mark her territory as clearly as the male we saw earlier, other studentteachers are encroaching on her territory. However, this does provide this female with a pack, thus protecting her from multiple predators in her territory.


Mating behavior in studentteachers have not been observed in this ecosystem as of yet. It is possible that the stress-filled environment has rendered the species of this ecosystem impotent. This could be a blessing as the studentteacher population male/female ratio is grossly unbalanced in this ecosystem. There is but one male for 3 or 4 females. Should they copulate, the male will be most pleased. However, should they engage in coitus with the intent of procreation, we could reasonably expect a certain level of retardation in future generations.