The Crucible

The Crucible (1996)

Yes, we had to watch The Crucible for English Class, although let us be clear that I'm not bashing the movie.

The movie is based on actual events that occurred in Salem, Massachusetts sometime in the 17th century. (Let it be known that our English teacher thinks the 17th century is 1700-1799. She openly said it in front of the class)
PG-13 because of "intense depiction of the Salem witch trials" (IMDB) but it turns out it got the PG13 rating mainly because of a little bit of nudity during the gathering of the "witches". Since the movie is based on the real events, we must assume the town minister jerked off to the "witches" dancing and stripping around a fire. It was only when things turned downright disgusting and scary to the point his pecker went limp did he step in to do anything about it.


The story is (an) EXCELLENT - display of human stupidity. I'm okay with religion when it keeps us humans out of trouble and gives us hope. But it is exactly stuff like the events depicted in The Crucible that makes me lean towards atheism.

Tell us the names of the people who were in session with the devil or you will be hung.
Isn't that inciting the accused to lie? WTF. No sense at all. You don't give the person a choice, really. Basically, you're just providing the perfect playing field for accusations, gossip, and finger-pointing. In the end, everybody abused the darn system, and to put it plainly, everybody was shitting in each others backyard for personal gain.

(Let it be known again that the English teacher actually took 5 minutes, while speaking OVER the movie, to make sure we understood what the devil was happening. As if we didn't know that none of them were actually witches and everybody was using the pretext to screw each other over. Sheesh. We do that all the time: a few grains here, a few grains there, and soon you have a pile big enough to sniff*)

Essentially, anybody could accuse anyone, and have a kid wither, shake & tremble in front of the judge, and the accused would be convicted. Of course, to avoid this, they accused someone else. So in the end, it's all about a finger-pointing fest and all the children of the town withering, shaking & trembling in unison as if they were high. (On crack) Might as well hang the whole town then. Problem solved.

Oh, and while on the subject of hanging, WTF is that about? When did burning go out of fashion? Was it because fire related too much to the devil? And what happened to drowning? You gotta love the drowning technique. They tied the suspected witch to a chair and sunk her into a lake or river. If she died, then the people in charge said "oops, we made a mistake, sorry". If she didn't, then she indeed was a witch and was to be burned.
Medival times were so much simpler.

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*Before anybody gullible enough actually starts believing we actually do "crack", we don't.


We don't do asscracks.


We don't do cocaine either. Nobody at CSL does crack regularly. Okay? Relax. CSL is actually a school with the IB program. There are geniuses here. (Any genius will tell you the use of illegal substances is very good to stimulate the mind and get new ideas.) My point is, we aren't a school of addicts. You don't need to get all worked up and start writing letters to the CSMB. Don't worry. Nobody does crack at CSL...



...because it isn't strong enough for the shit we have to endure.
Oh, and also because we're too poor to get the medicinal grade powder. (Nor do we want to)
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On another note, I really have to stress the use of JACKHAMMERS. Canadians love hockey. BUT! That is no excuse to turn every piece of flat land into an ice rink! Our pitiful excuse for a school yard is covered in ice! Literally, the path to the entrance is made of ICE! Aside from the fact we don't like going to school, CSL and CSMB screws us over by adding another obstacle in the form of translucent -and at most places- sharp & pointy ice.
Haha! You hate school, but you have to come. Now on top of that, risk breaking your neck every morning! Have a nice day, motherfuckers!
Just think about how anybody is going to get out if there's a fire. Of course, the school board doesn't think something as fucked up as our building could burn, and I have to say, I agree.
It's so crammed with asbestos, I'm expecting to develop lung cancer any day now. (Just in passing, shouldn't we do something about that?)

Back on topic; seriously, jackhammers?! A five-year old could operate one. Simple, and easy-going on the environment when you compare it to salt. In 15 minutes, tops, all our ice problems would be solved. But noooo, the reform lovers couldn't bear to pass up an opportunity to "harden us against the hazards of life".

The only hazards of life are morons *term deleted* and death.

I'll try to post a picture of our "schoolyard" soon.