Saturday, May 29, 2010

In Soviet Russia, we nuke leaking oil wells

This has got to be the most cliche thing related to russian vs usa ever.

Picture this:
Americans are jumping around, panicking and blaming either BP or Obama.
On one side, Omaba is standing a puddle of sweat, as his plans for economic stimulation go down the drain 'cause he has to sign new laws/bills limiting/postponing deepwater drilling. Did I mention the fishermen out to get him too?
On the other, BP executives and technicians and scientists are also in a good deal of stress. They've tried for a month now to stop that monster pissing black crap into the gulf and for all the money, technology and manpower they've got in there, and despite trying a plethora of ideas ranging from smart to retarded, they still can't do it. Wat a wonderful display of impotency.

Oh, also pitch in the rest of the world also looking on, totally helpless.

And then picture a bearded russian coming up, in a russian accent saying:
"Ooh yes, oil leak, is no problem. We just blow it up with nuclear bomb. Problem go away."
Faced with wide-eyed astonishment he adds "We do it five times already."
I shit you not. They have. Google it.
 
Owing to the limited nature of my knowledge in the field I won't comment on whether it's a good idea or not. However, it sounds a lot more efficient than shooting 'junk into the hole' and 'shooting mud and drilling fluid down the pipe' while oil is still gushing out.

On a side note, notice how they still call it a leak as a way to downplay the seriousness of the problem. A leak is something you can stop with a hand. A leak is something you take a few times a day. It's not 1,900,000–3,000,000 litres a day rocketing out of a pipe. If that happens to you even once a day, please, be a firefighter!

2 comments:

  1. or a fireman like in fahrenheit 451 ;)

    ReplyDelete
  2. fighting fire with fire is not uncommon

    ReplyDelete

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