Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Laugh and Cry at the same time

From the facebook group 'Reasons to sleep with an IB student'



1) We can fit two years worth into a month.

2) Re-take? What’s a re-take? We get it right first time.

3) We have incredible endurance.

4) No matter how much work we have, we can still make free time for ourselves.

5) We can serenade our partners in at least 2 different languages.

6) Our Physicists are experts at handling the forces between two objects.

7) Our Biologists know their way around the human body better than any other 6th form student.

8) The chemistry in a relationship is mere child’s play to our higher Chemists.

9) Our Mathematicians’ knowledge of projectile motion means that things will never get messy – unless you want them to.

10) We are experts at getting the maximum amount of work done with the least amount of effort.

11) Because we do it with creativity, action and (give you a) service.

12) We have experience in extended activity.

13) We can take it to a Higher Level.

14) "A-level students are like tired old bangers; they'll do the job, but it'll be a bit boring. IB students go like Ferraris."

15) Our English syllabus puts a lot of emphasis on oral assessment.

16) No need for modules here; we do it all in one go.

17) It's widely recognised that IB is longer and harder.

18) Haven't you seen the IB people wandering around saying how fucked they are?

19) We're used to going all night long.

20) Our Computer Scientists can push all the right buttons.

21) Our Economists know just how to supply what you demand.

22) A session with one of our Pyschologists will relieve stress and help you sleep at night; and I'm not talking about Insomnia Therapy.

23) We IBers fall asleep in class so that we can get more done at night.

24) Experiments conducted around the world have at last confirmed what we have long suspected: sleeping with an IB student can in some cases double the IQ of a student doing a less rigorous qualification.

25) Our Group 4 students are fearless when it comes to experimentation.

26) We treat you like we treat our homework - we slam you on the table and do you all night long.

27) Thanks to TOK, we have several different methods for getting to 'know' you.

28) We go beyond doing just what we have to do, to make things more interesting.

29) Our Geographers know what to push and how to pull.

30) If you want, we work well in larger groups.

31) We can think creatively and come from all sorts of new angles.

32) Essays aren't the only thing we can pull out of our pockets at a moment's notice.

33) Our musicians will bring things to a slow swell followed by a climax.

34) Our Design & Technology students know just what materials and methods are right for you.

35) We can assess you both externally and internally.

36) Hey, we do need some reason to sleep.

37) We're willing to try new methods to get better results.

4 comments:

  1. Where do you get off whinning so fucking much about the IB program. What have we done? We DON'T have creativity hours, which we are SUPPOSED to call ourselves an IB school. So our PP is not just an essay, you haven't even started it! What else have we done...2 techno projects...Community service...THAT'S IT! Stop bitching already.

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  2. ...somebody needs to get the board out of his ass...

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  3. It's not bitching. It's funny rant. If IB is so not that much work then get the fuck off the computer and go get a social life you prick.
    PP, 2 techno projects and community service? What school do you go to, "Institute of the Fail"?

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  4. Nice grammar there bud.

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