What do you believe in?

This was supposed to be a rant on how religions are fucked up, particularly extremist groups, but in doing research, I've been progressively scary the shit out of myself more and more, and don't want the shit blown out of me by fertilizer, my eyes gouged out, or end up speared by a white horseman. So instead, behold,

the 13 Commandments to an epic sect/cult called EpiK Failism

1- If thou succeed at something, REPENT to a Fail Priest ASAP.

2-Thou must fall, or walk into someone/a wall at least once per rotation of the planet.

3-Formal greetings shalt be completed by missing a high five.

4-Per year, thou shall EPIK FAIL at least 100 times.

5-Morning prayer shall be conducted to the hot Goddess of EpiK Fail by falling out of your bed.

6-In order to cash in your EpiK Fail, you need to declare your EPIC FAIL to anyone around you at that time.

7-You should fail at one of 13 commandments everyday.


You gotta believe in something, you might as well be an EpiK Failist.